The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

But when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete Source focus on your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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