The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

But when issues Recommended Reading emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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