The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to incredibly difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, love, and well-being .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess, however they focus Read More Here on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that much of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in city locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Many gay men want to find out from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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